Conversation signals that show you're interested
Jul 23, 2021
We all know that often it's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it that makes all the difference. How many of us need reminding of the communication science to make sure we're getting across our message and signalling that we're interested in other people's views?
Whether it's Facebook or Twitter, the default setting for engagement is negative, to put forward our negative opinions and positions and never to engage with anything positive. I believe there's a way of making this better.
A few weeks ago, I saw a post on LinkedIn that caught my attention because it was about the form of communication rather than the content. The author said: "I find it impossible to connect with people by text message." That prompted me to write this blog post with the hope that I can help you help others connect more effectively through your communications too.
I believe there's a way of making this better. When I talk to people, I tend to put forward my opinions on topics right at the start, especially when I'm feeling excited or nervous. This is obviously not desirable as it turns conversations into one-sided monologues about me and what I believe rather than a discussion between two people.
If you're a person who does this, I'm suggesting that you use not just neutral suggestions or requests but signals along the lines of: "tell me more"; "can you elaborate on that please?"; "that's interesting"; "how did you think about that?". By adding these kinds of signals to your communication style, it will be much easier to get interested in the other person's view and about what they are saying.
It might seem strange or difficult to do; I know it initially did for me. I've found a few ways to add this kind of signal into my communications now and have been making a lot of progress in helping others achieve better engagement through their communications. I've also found that in creating the space for other people to talk, I'm slowing down my own internal chatter, and we have a far better conversation.
Communication is a super skill for success in any arena and is one that we explore in-depth with one-to-one clients. If you'd like to learn more about what we do or how you can get more skilled in communication, get in touch now!
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